A Tame Ride
by JeanneAndHerAlters
Summary: Reno's got an issue, with a chocobo. Tseng is allergic and confused, and Elena is just a bit evil. Rated T for the same reason everything else gets rated T! One-shot


**Me: Oh goshers! It's my friend's birthday this weekend and what do I do for birthdays of ffnet friends? I write them a one-shot!  
Reno: Joy… I get dragged into your stupid schemes again!  
Me: You love it, I know.  
Reno: Do not!  
Me: DO TO! Shut up before I shove your EMR so far up your -big bleep-**

**Disclaimer: If Jeanne owned anything I wouldn't be here**

If there was one thing that set a Turk on edge, it was Reno missing. Tseng glanced around the offices, attempting to locate the wayward redheaded second in command. Nothing good could come of the man mysteriously disappearing when he'd been happily working at his desk a few hours ago.

"Sir?" Elena popped up suddenly, the blonde dressed in a bizarre outfit. Well bizarre to the Turk leader. Since when had the uniform consisted of overalls and a holey t-shirt? Last he recalled only chocobo handlers dressed like that.

"Have you seen the idiot- I mean Reno?" Tseng inquired, looking suspiciously at the blonde's clothes.

"Yes sir I have sir!" Elena grinned mischievously. "He's outside." The Wutaian man blinked, having not expected her to actually tell him so easily.

Exiting the building, after dodging some funny looking employees who looked ready to blow up their workstations, Tseng was once again eyeing his surroundings with suspicion. He sneezed, noticing a feather floating past his face.

"Get back here you fiend! I will do this till I get to ride you!" Reno darted by, thankfully in uniform. In front of the running Turk was none other than Elena's favorite chocobo. '_What is that dreadfully ugly beast's name again?'_ the Turk pondered, watching his co-worker chase after it frantically.

"Reno?" Tseng sneezed again, covering his nose as he watched Rude leap at the animal's back. Only those two could cause so much trouble with such a senseless beast.

Reno sprawled flat on the ground, glaring up at the chocobo who had stopped before him, looking rather innocent. The red head narrowed his eyes, pondering whether or not the thing would taste good fried. Four hours of trying to ride the beast and he hadn't even gotten close!

"I hate you," he grumbled, staring at the fluffy yellow bird as it cocked its head to the side, blue eyes inquiring. It pecked at his forehead, a chocobo grin spreading across its bird face. Growling Reno leaped up, ready to fry the beast with his EMR as soon as he caught it.

Racing away the bird leaped gracefully over Tseng, who sneezed hard enough to land on his butt. The chocobo darted into the ShinRa building, dodging nervous employees.

Sephiroth paused, lifting his strawberry doughnut up higher as the bright yellow canary dashed by his position. Continuing his stroll to his office the General didn't even pause to consider just why there was a chocobo loose in the building.

"CLOUD!" Reno screeched, running by the silver haired man. Zack watched in amusement, cackling maniacally when Reno slid and fell on the floor. The chocobo was always giving the red head the slip although Tseng didn't know that.

"I'll cook you so good Cloud my mouth will be watering before you're even half-way close to being eaten! Your feathers will be plucked and you'll be stuffed!" Reno leaped onto a chair, propelling it down the hall and after Cloud the Chocobo.

Launching a stapler, Reno tried to smack the bird on the head. The stapler flew past Cloud, hitting Rude who had somehow managed to get ahead of them. The bald man's coffee went flying, slowing Cloud down as it slipped and slid on the tiles.

"I've got you now!" Reno clambered onto the chocobo's back, grinning in triumph. Cloud warked in submission, beady blue eyes looking quite clear of plotting. "I tamed the untamable Cloud! The mightiest of chocobos! The feathered fiend of fiery fated doom!" the Turk pumped his arm in the air, cheering happily.

Cloud warked, fluffing his feathers. The chocobo strutted up and down the hall, preening itself and generally enjoying the immense amount of attention he, and his rider, were receiving.

Elena popped up in front of the merry duo, grinning evilly. Blowing a whistle, the blonde watched as the 'tamed' chocobo tore off down the hallway, leaving Reno laying on his back, rear end in pain.

**Me: Not quite what I had in mind, nor is it up to my standards but I hope you like it! Fortunately there weren't as many hints of yaoi that I had suspected would be there. Thank Minerva  
Reno:-glares-  
Me: I taped his mouth shut! Hehe. Please review!**


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